It seems that almost months before Homecoming guys are bombarded with the pressures of what should be a fun, semi-formal dance.
First, we have to propose to our date in a creative way; A Homecoming proposal must have flowers and a sign worthy of an Instagram post. Next, we cover the expenses of a tie to match the dress, tickets, and a dinner reservation most likely at a relatively expensive local Italian restaurant.
Girls expect the best and nothing less for Homecoming. Do not get me wrong, Homecoming is a big deal. It is fun to get dressed up, have a nice dinner, and have a good time with your date and your friends, but I do not think it would be all it is cracked up to be if it were not for the pressures of today’s female teenager.
Turnabout is essentially the same exact dance as Homecoming – with a minor stipulation. For Homecoming, the guy asks the girl. For Turnabout, the girl asks the guy. With such a small difference and considering there is always so much excitement for Homecoming, why are so many students still unsure whether or not they will be attending Turnabout this year?
Turnabout is another name for a Sadie Hawkins’ dance, where a girl is supposed to “turnabout” the norms of a school dance, ask a guy, and pay for all expenses of the night. These dances grew extremely popular in schools across the nation after the publishing of a comic strip about a girl, Sadie Hawkins, asking out a guy in 1941, almost 75 years ago.
Some of our grandmothers, and even great-grandmothers, have participated in the liberating Sadie Hawkins’ dance in their younger days. Nearly ¾ of a century later, one would believe that the Sadie Hawkins’, or Turnabout, tradition would have only grown larger, I mean, it is 2015. For some schools I think this holds true, but at Metea, not so much.
As a member of student government, I want to see a successful return for Turnabout; however, I fault the girls and larger social forces for past failures and the likelihood that this year’s dance is limping toward another poor turnout unless girls find the courage to ask their dates.
Why can’t a girl fill the role they expect of so many guys? I believe it is that girls do not have the same courage of asking as guys do.
Traditionally, when a guy asks a girl to Homecoming he will ask one of their friends if they would like to go with him. “I ask her friends what she likes, and if I find any funny interests she has I try to make a ‘play on words’ and put it on a poster with flowers,” junior Conner Lovely said.
Of course, not all guys are gung-ho and excited to ask their dates. Not many can avoid the sweats and heavy stomach that comes along with asking your date to Homecoming, but we all do it the best we can. “Asking girls to Homecoming is a little frightening, especially meeting the parents,” Lovely added.
It is a proven fact that girls are more prone to anxiety than boys. According to a study by the Child Mind Institute, before puberty, boys and girls have the same three to five percent risk of being diagnosed with a mood disorder. However, by mid-adolescence this risk of a mood or anxiety disorder skyrockets to 14 to 20 percent for girls.
“Girls get embarrassed much easier than guys. Guys can laugh it off [rejection], but girls would get really upset,” junior Nikki Munday said.
I think the lack of popularity regarding Turnabout is due to girls’ fear of rejection. Their increased anxiety levels prevent them from being able to ask who they’d like to ask freely, or even expressing who they would like to go with without fear of judgement.
Match.com surveyed 5,000 single adults, and only 10.8% of women said they had asked a man out on a date. Despite Sadie’s efforts, it seems that some women are still stuck in the early 1900’s.
“Usually a guy will ask a girl’s friends if she would want to go with him, but girls do not want to ask the guy’s friends because that is awkward if you get rejected,” Munday added.
So girls, if you want to enjoy Turnabout, respectfully: you need to man up.
By Drew Danko
Ms. DiGiorgio • Oct 13, 2015 at 8:53 pm
I personally love how you ended it with “man up” as a “punny” way to criticize double standards of gender roles. This is an interesting spin on the concept of proposals for dances. Does it mean to “emasculate”? Not at all. Simply, I see you using it as your own voice to gain movement toward your argument. The feminism/meninism debate today often fails to recognize that the real issue is equality, rather than “trumping” the opposite sex. I’m not sure if you have done it already, but offering a poll to help substantiate your argument might be key in being more transparent to readers as to where you gain grounds for your opinion piece 🙂 Well done.
Rohin • Feb 8, 2015 at 11:46 am
Well, the way I see it a major factor in the success of turnabout isn’t necessarily related to female roles and feminism, but rather the perception concerning the turnabout dance. At homecoming, there are a multitude of people (boys and girls) who attend with a group of friends as single people. By what I’ve heard thus far, this is frowned upon for turnabout. If a guy goes alone to turnabout, it’s because no girl liked him enough to ask him, not because he just wanted to go have fun with his friends. And by what knowledge I have of turnabout from the past, the school supports more couples for this dance, adding many more slow dances and giving it more of a couples vibe. Also, I know lots of people that ask someone to homecoming as friends and go together just for one night, not necessarily as a couple. Why is it that now, girls don’t have the same philosophy concerning turnabout? These individual factors are the underlying reasons as to why turnabout isn’t a success. Because when one person says “Oh, I heard you can only go if you are in a couple”, and spreads that philosophy to his/her friends, that’s instantly losing many possible attendees. I am completely aware of the fear of rejection and that it may be even worse for girls, but if a girl just wants to go with a guy as friends it shouldn’t be a problem at all.
Rachel • Feb 4, 2015 at 10:00 am
What exactly, pray tell, does “man up” even mean? Since when did “man up” equal “be more courageous”? I’m sorry, but it’s just not a fair analogy. “[You] fault the girls” for not being like tough, strong, fearless men, yet fail to address the many different factors that have prevented Turnabout from being as successful as it could be.
Personally, I have been asked to Homecoming twice and have asked twice for a guy to attend Homecoming with me, yet I have never felt compelled to go to Turnabout. Let’s take a look at the history of Turnabout at Metea, as it is quite bleak. If I remember correctly, the first year I attended Metea as a freshman was the only year (besides the current one) that we have had a “Turnabout”. I faintly recall a lot of confusion over the semi-formal dress code and many grumblings as to why things weren’t clear about what was occurring. Turnabout was a disaster that year from what I have heard: Hardly anyone was in attendance, there wasn’t much to do, it was awkward, etc. Administration took this into account and cancelled this dance for the next two years (adding a pitiful “Hoedown” in place of the dance to spur people into going).
I think the problem with Turnabout is not, as this article states, a girl’s inability to do a task that guys do with ‘such heavy pressure’, but the fact that Turnabout is not, and never will be a popular dance at Metea. Its sad reputation coupled with its disappearance for too many years have made it an undesirable dance to attend. Why spend all the money on another dance when we just had Homecoming not too long ago and Prom is coming up? Why get all dolled up one more time when you don’t have to? At least those are my reasons.
It infuriates me to have people chalk Turnabouts’ low attendance to the frailty of women (aka the reason Drew used the “anxiety disorder skyrockets to 14 to 20 percent for girls” statistic). Ultimately, if a girl wants to ask you to Turnabout, she will. If she doesn’t, it doesn’t mean she is not brave, it simply because she does not want to go.
Andrea • Feb 4, 2015 at 10:23 am
okay, but who’s to say she doesn’t want to go because she’s not brave? not to start an argument, but he never stated explicitly that girls’ anxiety was the only reason turnabout was poorly attended (I don’t think, at least). Your point’s valid, but so is his. It’s a combination of factors.
and also, I agree that “man up” isn’t an appropriate expression for this topic… it’s still just an expression, though.
Lori • Feb 4, 2015 at 9:43 am
If a man wants to put down a girl’s gender, what does that say about him? Leaving that as a rhetorical question, I feel that is important to defend our gender. Women are not any less courageous than men, and in fact in some cases are more so. Additionally, the lacking turnout at Turnabout is merely confined to our school. Other schools since the beginning of Sadie Hawkins dances have always had large, involved Turnabout similar in scale to the celebratory events of Homecoming. If you want to compare the two, make them comparable. Metea’s winter dances, whether it be the Winter Semi-Formal, Mustang Hoedown, or now Turnabout, have never been held to the standard of a Homecoming or Prom in the minds of students. Regardless, the turnout on February 28th will not be because of women’s lack of courage or strength, but rather the underpublicity and unsaid social bais against it. Turnabout is a wonderful opportunity for a girl to fight gender roles, and if Turnabout were considered on the same scale as Homecoming, there is no doubt in my mind that we would have a much better turnout.
NNHS Student (Female) • Feb 3, 2015 at 9:14 pm
There are way too many factors on why turnabout isn’t as popular as homecoming. First, there’s the fact that turnabout is usually a ‘couples’ dance, so people automatically assume that a girl likes a guy if she asks him out. Not always, but enough to not risk the assumptions. There are also more slow dances, which could potentially get awkward if you’re not super familiar with your date. This is just the nature of the dance, and not anyone’s fault.
Second, there’s the societal stereotype that guys should always/usually ask girls out. This needs to change. Girls *should* be asking guys as easily as guys are asking girls, as long as they want to/comfortable with/etc., etc.
Third, there are girls (there are guys as well but this happens more with girls at NNHS. Not everyone, but a good number) who are just too lazy to ask someone, or don’t think that there are guys who are worth their time/money. This isn’t some stereotypical/sexist remark. It’s a type of personality, and the majority of the people with this personality just happen to be girls. I’ve heard people say, “I only want guys to ask me. It looks really bad if I ask someone out.” This goes back to the second point, but with the added ‘I only want guys to ask me’, an attitude that needs to be changed. You are never obliged to ask someone to a dance if they asked you. However, having the mindset that you will only go to a dance if you are asked out by a guy and that you will never ‘stoop low’ and ask a guy is wrong. If you are like this, guy or girl, get off your high horse please.
To all at Metea: NNHS Spring/TB at least is pretty fun. You can make it fun too. Askers: Go ahead and ask! Friends/classmates of askers: Please don’t embarass anyone/make anyone feel bad. You guys are part of the problem too.
nickhegs • Feb 3, 2015 at 3:41 pm
For nearly every gender role or stereotype, there is a flip side that is just as hard to fit into or overcome.
Shreya • Feb 3, 2015 at 12:15 pm
“Man up”: Ay, there’s the rub. I think this article inadvertently hit on exactly what’s causing this turnabout to have a bad turn out. Girls are far too afraid of being considered too forward, or emasculating their date if they ask out the guy. The reason why Homecoming has a good turnout and Turnabout doesn’t isn’t the girls or the guys fault. It’s society in general. According to gender stereotypes, a guy SHOULD ask a girl to Homecoming, or he’s considered girly. A girl should be on the receiving end, or she’s too dominant, too masculine. Therefore, dismissing the girl’s fears as a worse reaction to the same amount of fear of rejection is wrong. Because if a guy asks out a girl, whether there’s rejection or not (and the embarrassment of rejection IS a lot), he still did what society dictates a guy should do. He “manned up.” You can see this in that whole concept of “friend-zoning.” No girl ever says she got “friend-zoned.” Guys do, because society says that they did their job as gender stereotypes dictate and asked her out, and since she didn’t do her job of receiving, boo her. If girls ask a guy out and gets rejected, it’s not just the guy rejecting her she has to deal with, but also society’s more likely to put it on her fault for being too forward, too promiscuous, even going to the point of desperate. How many times have we seen the trope of the crazy ex-girl friend or the creepy stalker girl in TV or books? No girl wants to be that. So no, girl’s don’t need to man up. Society needs to get more tolerant, and that starts with everyone, not just the girls.
Joel Nanni • Feb 3, 2015 at 9:36 am
Its important for girls to see how it feels to be afraid of the word no and in this day and age of feminism and equal rights still being preached as much as is it is. Women or young ladies rather should learn the stresses a male has to go through when asking a girl to a dance. #likeagirl
Lexi • Feb 3, 2015 at 9:35 am
Let’s think about this for a second. Did someone actually approve a sexist article such as this to represent metea media? I don’t know if this guy understands how much girls spend. Minimum $20 for manicure (even more if a girl gets a pedi too), money and time spent on hair and makeup, at least $40 spent on a homecoming dress (and that’s if you find a great deal) (mine was over $70). Guys simply reuse the same outfit every year so for turnabout, girls spend even more. Now the problem is: finding a guy you are actually willing to spend money on. Plus many view turnabout as a “couples dance”; meaning that unless you already have a boyfriend, it’s not very appealing.
Now for the statistics on anxiety disorders. Go talk to a psychology teacher before you talk about things you don’t know about. The reason girls have higher percentage is because they are more likely to seek help. Boys are told that those feelings make them weak (or girly) and tend to internalize it (just like the misogyny that causes this way of thinking).
So maybe, think before you bash a whole gender and make sexist comments.
Andrea • Feb 4, 2015 at 10:31 am
I don’t know if he’s bashing girls, really, just making incorrect assumptions… I agree with what you said about guys seeking help much less, and honestly I think at this point the bigger problem is guys feeling that having emotional issues makes them weak somehow. Women are (stereotypically) viewed as weaker, so it’s okay if they seek help.
Also, no one’s really making you buy a different dress each year or put up your hair and put on makeup and all that crap. I came to homecoming in the dress I went in freshman year, with no makeup, with my hair in a ponytail, because I didn’t find worrying over my appearance to that extent “fun”. You (probably) did that because it was fun, and because of societal pressure. Ultimately, no one’s forcing you.